My Baby Is One...
Those four little words are unbelievable to me. My sweet Grayson Lewis became a one year old today. At 1:11am actually, I feel like he has two birthdays because he was ready at 10:00pm, we just had to wait a little bit for all the moving parts... His Lolli & Aunt BB (running through the parking lot) to come back and our nurses and doctor. Right now I am typing this at the point where all this was starting, where my nurse said we are going to start pushing soon. WHAT?! So while I would love to explain every detail of that really awesome night, I feel like the best way to honor Baby G is to talk about hope and faith. Because without those two things I would not be celebrating this sweet face (how amazing is that picture above?!).
Hope & Faith... they are so simple right? They are easy to say, everyone understands the meaning of them but do we TRULY know what to means to have both of these things. To have true hope in our Lord and faith that what He has put on our heart He will fulfill. I do not believe you can have one without the other. When we were going through our season of waiting I went through the bible study for The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. One of the parts that struck me the most was when he talked about how if you knew you only had to pray one more prayer in order to get a "Yes" wouldn't you continue praying? If you knew you had pray 402 times to get a "Yes" you would totally do it, right? It's hard because we do not know when the "Yes" will come, if it will ever come but if you continue to ask God, He will bless you and answer you in an even more amazing way.
I don't know about you but I constantly put guidelines on God and tell Him my plans but God's plans for us are so much better. In the middle of it all I remember thinking how it's not much comfort even though I know it is true, I have hope and faith it is true. But I think it can be hard because we don't always feel like anyone really understands what it is like to wait for a child, we are tired of people asking us if we are going to have kids, when we are going to have kids, etc. (Super quick - don't ask people that ever again, it's not your business, those of you in the age range of being a grandma (and any age), stop yourself, it's rude, personal and not the way to make conversation). It is hard to see social media, attend baby shower after baby shower without feeling your heart sink every time. Then you have the guilt because you don't want to feel that way because you are truly happy for them but it is just a reminder of your season of waiting.
It's hard friends. And if you don't have someone you can talk to who truly knows what you are going through it can be even harder. Not a lot of people share their hardships because it's personal, it is hard to talk about and don't want to burden others. I want you to know that I pray for all you waiting mama's out there. I still can not believe the Lord blessed Cory and I with Baby G. It has been exactly 365 days of being a mama and I still can not believe it. When Grayson was put into my arms at 1:11am on 8.16.16 the first thing I said to him was "I prayed for you." And I've said it to him every night since.
My hope in sharing this is it will help someone. If you need encouragement or someone to cry with or just to listen I am here. One of my all time favorite bible verses and one I held tight to especially during our season of waiting is -
"The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still"
- Exodus 14:14
This verse always helps me when I feel too tired, too sad, too broken, overwhelmed to keep going. The Lord will do it for you, you just need to have faith and hope in Him. God's timing is PERFECT.
Grayson Lewis Fancher, you are my ultimate proof.
Happy Birthday, G!
I prayed for you.
